May 2013
10 posts
Yup, having someone to cuddle into and fall asleep...
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3.29km // 18min.
1) The t-shirt I am wearing in the photo is my Red Hot Chili Peppers ‘I’m With You’ tour shirt, bought when they played Warsaw last year. An awesome reminder of an awesome birthday weekend.
2) The story I am supposed to be writing right now has this premise: former angel of death goes postal on some demons in a desert. It will kick ass.
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Class Discussion.
“Okay, what’s the tallest mountain in the world?”
The kids sat around the classroom table, unmoved and silent for what seemed like and age. Eventually the class clown put his hand up, not waiting for me to give the go-ahead before answering.
“Żarnowa Góra!” he declared, triumphantly. The other kids burst into laughter. Żarnowa Góra was a hill lying within the Góry Świętokrzyskie, or Holy Cross...
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Hole.
I sat on the park bench, watching the world go by. I often did this; there was something inherently soothing about the lives of others. Enjoying the differences between and similarities with my own life, longing for some of the things they had, being glad of not having other things. Mostly, however, it was because time slowed down here, became irrelevant. No deadlines, no stress from constantly...
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Moving On.
How does one go about dealing with loss, with the end of something you thought would last forever? With waking up alone one morning when you’ve been waking up every morning for the previous two years next to that special someone? With suddenly not having the drive or purpose that kept you going? With finding yourself an enigma, devoid of hope of a better future?
That’s exactly the quandary I faced...
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Occupied.
<Please take the time to read this, and let me know what you think! I would really, really appreciate the feedback.>
It was a baking hot day. Too hot for my liking; the sticky heat uncomfortable. Still, it was good to finally be rid of a four-month winter; good to be able to sit in the park and not have to wrap up like an Eskimo and not be stuck indoors twenty-three hours of the day. Good...
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Lake.
It’s hard to imagine a more tranquil place than where I am sitting right now. Sitting on the stone portion of a run-down jetty by a lake somewhere in the centre of Poland. I couldn’t point it out on a map if I tried. It’s relatively early in the morning on May 2, a day sandwiched between two public holidays (and ‘Flag Day’), so a lot of people have a long weekend free. I have the whole week, and I...
April 2013
27 posts
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Dilemma.
He is torn.
One the one hand, he enjoys the life of freedom he lives, alone in a small town a thousand miles away from home, without any of the pressure of living up to people. Being able to spend his days sitting in the park, reading and being bathed in sunlight, or trudging through the snow to the forest under the cold blue skies of winter. Of being able to sit in a café and spill his thoughts...
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Clean Break.
“It’s you I want.”
Those were the words I’d never expected to hear. Pushing me through the doorway as soon as I opened it, she kissed me, long and lustful and full of that raw kind of passion that comes after months and months of tiptoeing around each other wondering whether or not the feeling was mutual.
The moment took over, and in seconds her hands were ripping my shirt open and my hands were...
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Kitten.
He crouches, watching me intently. His eyes are big, green and full of curiosity, and he has a somewhat rugged look about him. Like he spends all of his time outdoors, stalking through the uncut grass and dusty earth of the farmyard. Hunting the chickens that run away at the first sign of movement and the birds that fly down just to tease him and fly off again when he attempts to pounce upon them....
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Apple.
Walking barefoot in the orchard in the afternoon autumn sun, her light summer dress floats in the breeze and her shaded eyes take in the wonder of the greenery around her. The trees are in full bloom, their long branches bearing the treasures she is seeking. She wanders among them, slowly, purposefully, taking her time to choose the right one.
She stops at one with one of its lower branches...
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Road Trip.
There’s a dream I have, in which there’s nothing before me but the open road.
In it I don’t drive, just as in the waking world, but I’m in the front seat next to a friend, who is unknown to be but whose sunglassed eyes are firmly focused on where we’re going. He’s focused, but we’re still chatting and laughing jovially. There’s music playing, nothing too upbeat, nothing too downbeat, and the...
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Metamorphosis.
It’s cold. So bitterly cold.
I’m not used to these winters, coming from the UK. There we just have a lot of rain and wind, that whips around violently and leaves the skin on your face raw. But that’s all it is, just an inconvenience. That can always be countered with a decent coat and a scarf, and a hurried walk with your head down.
Here that’s not enough. The temperature drops to something you...
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Picture Perfect.
She stands there, blonde hair flowing over her shoulders and fluttering in the slight breeze. The sun shines above her, and the sky is a shade of blue ideal for the pursuit she has planned. By her side hangs a camera bag full of accessories, and around her neck is slung her pride and joy. A hefty black box of magic that calms her mind and sets her free when her fingertips run over its hard ridges...
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Don’t ask me why, I just had the sudden...
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No Words.
What does one write, when the words don’t come?
It’s frustrating, really. Being in the mood to write, yet sitting here staring at a blank page, wracking my mind for just a sliver of inspiration. It’s a beautiful day out, the sun shining brightly and barely a cloud in the sky. People have a spring in their steps, birds sing and every sound I hear is one of optimism. Yet there are still no words.
As...
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Stargazing.
So I got my fix of falling stars, although it was somewhat disappointing.
Standing there, halfway up a hill with the waxing gibbous proving an overly-luminous pain in the backside, I gazed up at the vastness of space hoping to feast on the annual Lyrids shower. Given I lost my phone recently and therefore was denied the help of the wonder that is Google Sky Map, I had to locate Lyra the good...
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Club.
The music was loud. That was the first thing that hit him about the club. Normally, that wouldn’t be something that stood out to him, when walking into a club, but here it was deafeningly so. He tried to think but that was somewhat futile, so he pushed his way through the masses of underdressed and over-perspiring bodies to the bar. He slid onto a free stool, and ordered a Scotch when the...
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Fly Away.
It’s hot. The sun shines brightly, causing me to squint even through the darkest sunglasses I could find locally. It also brings on a bout of migraine-induced photosensitivity, which is not at all welcome on such a beautiful day. There’s not a cloud in the sky, save for the vapour trails of airlines ferrying hordes of self-serving tourists off to some Mediterranean isle; hold no doubt packed with...
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Transcendence.
For millennia, we have been separated. From other tribes, from other towns and villages, from other countries, from continents that have shifted and drifted apart and eroded away into what they are now. Separated by great plains and mountains that reach the gods, snaking rivers that sweep all away to the vast, deep blackness of endless oceans. Separated by time and space and coin, far more...
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Rebirth.
In the harsh climates of winter, it’s easy to lose one’s way. The cold saps every ounce of strength from you, as your body shivers to retain its warmth, your mind consumed by the pessimism of the death of life around you. Day after day of endless white, and as beautiful as that is, hope all-too-quickly drained.
Then, when the winter finally breaks, the sun makes its welcome reappearance and green...
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Call.
Five of them sit around a round table. Silence is pierced by heavy sighs and nervous fidgeting, each of them weighing the others with suspicious eyes. Drinks are consumed, the air is thick with cigar smoke and the light is dim. Tension screams out; none of them know who is going to break first, only knowing that they don’t want it to be themselves.
The first wears a crisply-pressed shirt. Cotton,...
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Loss.
There’s regret in his eyes, and the stain of tears upon her cheeks. They sit opposite one another in a crowded café, uncaring of how others are looking at them. Nothing is important in this moment but the profound sense of loss she is feeling, the end of decade-long chapter of their lives. Her shoulders are slumped, hands resting on her lap. An untouched latte sits on the table before her, while...
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Redcoat.
There’s a girl, standing at the counter. Long, brown hair, pulled loosely back into a ponytail; large, inviting eyes, brown as chestnuts. Pale, porcelain skin and cherry-coloured lips that purse slightly as she places her order. A furrowed brow, shoulders heavy with the burden of the rainy weather and everyday life. She’s short, perhaps five or six inches than myself, and slender. Black heeled...
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Ranger - Part Three.
Part One - Part Two
.
Looting the bodies of the slain was a given. Selwyn pocketed a knife of surprisingly good craftsmanship, handle delicately carved from bone into the shape of an owl’s head. Far better than his own, modest fare, but in dire need of the loving touch of a whetstone. He also pocketed a parcel of hard bread, enough for a couple of days’ sustenance at best, and a few coins....
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Ranger - Part Two.
Part One.
.
That was soon to change, and it wasn’t the Aestera that would account for it. Moments later, the two pairs of footsteps became two chatting voices. He didn’t understand their dialect completely; the northern tribes that once were so close were now separated by thousands of moons of diversity and warfare. The rangers belonged in the forests; these footsteps belonged in the foothills way...
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Ranger - Part One.
It was bitterly cold, but the sky was blue and the sun was shining nonetheless. A figure, no more than a boy, stood atop a hill, scouting. He raised a hand to shield his eyes from the blinding light, and surveyed what was before him. Off to his left, the edge of a great forest, grand oaks and pines mingling and reaching high, a foreboding wall of darkness lying within. To his right, the start of...
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Photosynthesis.
The sun is finally shining, temperatures picking up after more than four months of a long, drawn-out winter. Harsh and unbearable at times, relatively mild at others, yet always unforgiving. A winter of bitterness and depression, of lost hope and shattered dreams. And endless winter that one comes to expect and endure, having lived so long on the fringes of Eastern Europe. An endless winter that...
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Wisła.
This is a long read, 3000 words, so to all who do take the time to read, you have my immense thanks. This is about the first night of my break over Easter, revisiting a place I used to live in and love, with people I used to know, about recapturing something I’ve long since lost.
My eyes are heavy, I am exhausted. This is my forty-first hour of being awake, and as much as I just want to...
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Not the Sum.
You’re not the sum of all the opinions
people throw at you on a daily basis.
You’re not the hate that comes your way
when others don’t get from you what they want,
and nor should you feel responsible
for all the ills of their own creation.
You’re not the expectations
of family or friends or all the people
that have crossed your path
during your journey through life,
nor are you the fears of your...
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Pursuit.
The endless pursuit of something not guaranteed to be real is something that suffocates us. Something that we’re capable of manufacturing, deep in our consciousness, from a need to feel wanted. A need to be held, a need to hold someone, a need to belong. Too much time spent chasing dreams and shadows, those which lead us on a merry dance – one step, two steps, three steps ahead and always looking...
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Disconnected.
Being away for the Easter break has been somewhat eye-opening and sobering for me. I’ve been too busy to be online, and on the first night out I got incredibly drunk and lost my phone. At first it was an uncomfortable feeling; I felt lost without any kind of online presence, or without any contact with the outside world. But as time went by, I realised that I’ve spent too much time online and not...
March 2013
28 posts
2 tags
Nightwalk.
It’s lonely, walking the streets of this town at night, as I often do when I’m in need of inspiration, caffeine or a clear head. There’s never anybody about, except for the occasional lorry passing through or police car doing its rounds. It’s lonely, but I’m free to just be, without the constant eyes of locals burning through me, without the scrutiny of every word I breathe and every decision I...
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Broken Bridges.
So, I posted a picture on FB of myself in a suit (I’ll post this picture here later). My sister, Emma, leaves a comment to the effect of ‘almost 30, old fart, might as well just pop your clogs, you’ll always be alone’ etc. I respond by saying ‘I fail to see in which world it’s humourous to tell somebody to die’, to which she says ‘it was supposed to...
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The Twenty-Sixth of March.
.
Sitting by an open fire, logs crackling,
I’d read you poems by Robert Frost
and fables by Aesop
as translated by Caxton and published on this day;
I’d remind you of all the smiles you’ve given me
when I ask you what it is I can do for you in return,
to give you all your heart desires,
as one good deed really does deserve another.
I’d lead you outside in the dead of night
to gaze up at the...
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Another reading, this time of one of my favourite...
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Another reading by request. This is a piece...
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So, continuing the readings theme, this is a...
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First Kiss.
It started with a kiss, in the driving rain. Mud ankle deep, making it difficult to stay upright in the surge of bodies all around them, a wave sweeping towards the stage. The main act striding forth dramatically, arms aloft, the screams all around them as deafening as the music to come would be. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist to prevent her being swept away, and gazed...
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And a piece called Gateway, another...
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So, here’s a reading of a piece called...
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Ghosts.
They wander, wander, always wandering. Haunting, haunting, always haunting. Relics, of past connections, of past loves, of past failures. How many are there? Too many. Four, or twenty-six, depending on how you look at it. Actual relationships, or brief encounters? One hour, two nights, three weeks, four months. All leaving their baggage, to weigh me down. Or is it baggage I create of my own...
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Rain.
It’s just another day in this endless winter, and although the times are changing, it’s still bitterly cold. The snow has disappeared after a day or three of rain, and more rain falls now. It’s incessant. As a rule, I enjoy the rain. It calms me. As much as I have been optimistic of late, riding this wave that’s carried me so far in such a short time, every wave runs out of steam. In that moment,...
